perfectionism

PERFECTIONISM . . .

shows up in daily life in different ways. The more well-understood kind of perfectionism occurs when we strive to perform perfectly and feel like a failure for anything less. We berate ourselves if we are not “just right,” or, if perfectionism takes over, we may become paralyzed, and not try at all, because we are too afraid we will not meet our perfectionistic goals. Perfectionists focus on black and white thinking. Either they are perfect or they are a failure. Since perfect is an impossible achievement, this thought process results in a lose-lose proposition. Perfectionism interferes with daily living as perfectionists struggle with anxiety, depression, self-doubt, imposter syndrome, low self-esteem, and inability to meet goals.

Another kind of perfectionism presents when we find ourselves wishing things were different or thinking that people or circumstances “should” be different than the way they are. This sort of thinking causes stress, anxiety, depression and resentment.

When we think things should be different, we are pining for a perfect world. For example, you may have the thought that people “should” act a certain way. Sure, in a perfect world, that would happen. But in reality, a lot of people act in ways that we don’t like. The thought that they “should” do something causes us stress, not the fact that they are not doing what we want them to do or acting the way we want them to act.

In the real world, there is no good or bad or right or wrong. Life is improv. We forget that life is messy. There is no perfect world. As long as we hold onto the thoughts that things “should” be different, we suffer.

I take clients through a quick and very specific process whereby we work together to untangle limiting and perfectionistic beliefs. Freedom from stressful thoughts is available to you.

If you find yourself having thoughts that you, someone else or your circumstances “should” be different, reach out and let’s get started toward the freedom you seek.

If you want to hear Corey speak about perfectionism, listen to the Purposeful Planning Institute Podcast here.