Perfectionism and Task Paralysis
Perfectionism and Paralysis
A perfectionist is someone who pursues flawlessness, sets excessively high standards, and often criticizes one’s own behavior and the behavior of others. While perfectionism can be a self-development tool that drives us to succeed, too often, perfectionists find themselves paralyzed and unable to take even the smallest step toward their goals. Perfectionism manifests as a drive for flawlessness, combined with a dissatisfaction with “what is.” Since perfection is impossible, a perfectionist may never feel satisfied with their efforts despite achieving great accomplishments.
Perfectionists often live with overwhelming guilt and shame which stems from unrelenting self-criticism. The perfectionist's self-esteem depends upon achievement and, even in the face of praise and notoriety, perfectionists are constantly burdened with self-castigating thoughts that they did not meet expectations, that they did not live up to their “potential,” or that they are a failure. Perfectionists employ black and white thinking. The only available choices are perfection or complete failure.
Often perfectionists live in a perpetual state of striving and a chronic state of inadequacy, misery and failure, which contributes to anxiety, depression, stress and, sometimes addiction. Perfectionists may overwork, feel incompetent, feel like a fraud, work alone because they lack confidence that others can handle the task, or they may avoid new experiences because they fear making mistakes. Sometimes perfectionists feel separate from others as they feel disappointed when others are not able to perform according to the perfectionist’s high expectations.
Perfectionism is an energy that can lead to paralysis and underachievement when the individual becomes overwhelmed with meeting expectations. In the face of fear of failure, the perfectionist may experience a “fight or flight” response and become paralyzed by a feeling that they are unable to start new tasks because they may not succeed.
How Do You Overcome “Task Paralysis”?
“How Do You Eat An elephant? One bite at a time.” This old adage provides a framework within which to address task paralysis. Break the tasks down into tiny, tiny steps; steps so small that they seem too easy. Perhaps create a to-do list which measures progress as smaller tasks get done and crossed off the list. Couch the tasks in a concrete, well-defined way, and be specific with timing and duration. Perhaps commit to doing the smaller tasks in ten-minute increments.
“Mediocre Makes Money.” A perfectionist’s seeming inability to tackle a task can be compared to not showing up at work. If you don’t go to work, you can’t get paid. Similarly, if a perfectionist is paralyzed by fears of failure, they may find themselves unable to start the work needed to accomplish the goal. If the perfectionist reframes their thoughts to a striving for excellence, rather than flawlessness, they may be more successful in showing up to complete the task.
Incentivize Yourself. Perhaps beginning with the highest priority task may not be the best way to move toward achieving the goal. Sometimes, motivation may increase when the individual starts with the most enjoyable task. Sometimes rewards, such as taking a break or doing an enjoyable activity between tasks may make the to-do list less daunting. Reward yourself for small goals accomplished.
Reframe Your Thoughts and Just Do It. Do something, anything, that moves you toward your goal. Commit to doing a task for ten to thirty minute intervals and set a timer. Remove distractions. Teach yourself that you can do hard things even when it feels like you can’t.
Perfectionism is not a terminal state of mind and may be overcome. If you are interested in learning more about overcoming perfectionism, or if you want to become unburdened by negative, limiting beliefs, call me at (310) 486-8842 or visit my website at www.coreyhirschlcsw.com.